Too SoonA new romantic comedy about learning to love after loss. And how the rest of us, and some music, can help in that process. |
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Ever felt helpless in comforting a grieving friend?
My close friend’s wife passed away when they had two small children. I attended the funeral and asked him to let me know if there was anything I could do, but that was it. After all, what could I possibly say or do that would make it okay?
Three months later, my young cousin lost her battle with cancer. It sucked. It wasn’t fair. Suddenly, I was the one being comforted. Lots of people got it wrong. But a few friends and family showed up for me even though they didn’t know what to say or do. They were willing to risk getting it wrong in order to learn how to do something right, and I knew I had failed my newly widowed friend.
That was a wake up call.
Three months later, my young cousin lost her battle with cancer. It sucked. It wasn’t fair. Suddenly, I was the one being comforted. Lots of people got it wrong. But a few friends and family showed up for me even though they didn’t know what to say or do. They were willing to risk getting it wrong in order to learn how to do something right, and I knew I had failed my newly widowed friend.
That was a wake up call.
Here’s what I learned
I realized my discomfort, ignorance, and accumulating guilt were nothing compared to my friend’s grief. I still didn’t know what to do but I knew I had to do something.
I started the hard conversation and fumbled my way through an apology. And it turns out, starting that conversation was the hardest part. I learned a lot about what he was going through and what was helpful. We were able to mend our friendship. And I'm forever grateful we did because he died not two years later.
More years went by and another dear friend passed. And then another—lost to cancer at way too young of an age. This was a second wake up call that inspired my wife, Aurora, and me to learn how to better show up for grieving friends. We wanted to help other people start that uncomfortable conversation and keep it going.
We started asking a lot of questions to people who knew a lot more than we did about losing a spouse early. The more we talked with widows, widowers, and grief professionals, the more we wanted to do something to help.
I started the hard conversation and fumbled my way through an apology. And it turns out, starting that conversation was the hardest part. I learned a lot about what he was going through and what was helpful. We were able to mend our friendship. And I'm forever grateful we did because he died not two years later.
More years went by and another dear friend passed. And then another—lost to cancer at way too young of an age. This was a second wake up call that inspired my wife, Aurora, and me to learn how to better show up for grieving friends. We wanted to help other people start that uncomfortable conversation and keep it going.
We started asking a lot of questions to people who knew a lot more than we did about losing a spouse early. The more we talked with widows, widowers, and grief professionals, the more we wanted to do something to help.
Tough life lessons 🤝 making movies
Aurora, and I are filmmakers. And while neither of us have lost a spouse before, we were eager to connect the knowledge and lived-experience of those we’d talked with to the millions of others who have lived through losing a spouse. This led us to write Too Soon. It's the story of a widow and widower who meet on the day of their spouses’ funerals. They start to write music together to process what they’ve gone through and over the course of a year they navigate the complexities of grieving and learning to love again.
Essentially, it's just a really expensive way to inspire folks to start having the hard conversations. Joking aside, along with giving a voice to widows, widowers, and grief professionals, our hope is that the rest of us watch Too Soon so we can know how to show up more fully for those we love.
Essentially, it's just a really expensive way to inspire folks to start having the hard conversations. Joking aside, along with giving a voice to widows, widowers, and grief professionals, our hope is that the rest of us watch Too Soon so we can know how to show up more fully for those we love.
Contact us at [email protected]